Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
