Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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