he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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