Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I won the penis lottery.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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