physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
