Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
