I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
