do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
