well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
