He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
