when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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