I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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