now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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