Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
