Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
