You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
