I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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