do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
