so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
