i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
