He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
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Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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