Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;

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(216): For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan; http://tfl.nu/zp6w

Replies (82) Good night (911) Bad night (4443)
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(478): View more from Georgia

She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks

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(478): She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks http://tfl.nu/vee8

Replies (22) Good night (4777) Bad night (1722)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.

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(414): Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done. http://tfl.nu/pg78

Replies (25) Good night (1000) Bad night (6914)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.

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(314): I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness. http://tfl.nu/5pr0

Replies (20) Good night (4735) Bad night (1355)
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(616): View more from Michigan

the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.

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(616): the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles. http://tfl.nu/0i26

Replies (13) Good night (4014) Bad night (1214)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.

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(+61): I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god. http://tfl.nu/eynz

Replies (19) Good night (1174) Bad night (6852)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?

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(316): Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage? http://tfl.nu/r2cg

Replies (6) Good night (2358) Bad night (1975)
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(916): View more from California

Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home

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(916): Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home http://tfl.nu/dlwc

Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (1781)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!

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(832): i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?! http://tfl.nu/yoqa

Replies (9) Good night (2202) Bad night (541)
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(847): View more from Illinois

a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?

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(847): a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again? http://tfl.nu/tc2t

Replies (10) Good night (1666) Bad night (929)
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(443): View more from Maryland

They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here

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(443): They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing. (1-410): Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here http://tfl.nu/0wca

Replies (7) Good night (1435) Bad night (507)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.

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(678): Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch. http://tfl.nu/ra61

Replies (5) Good night (480) Bad night (817)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.

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(763): The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/um2t

Replies (2) Good night (778) Bad night (594)
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(224): View more from Illinois

I haven't been sober in 4 days.

(1-224): View more from Illinois

Then be sober

(224): View more from Illinois

No.

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(224): I haven't been sober in 4 days. (1-224): Then be sober (224): No. http://tfl.nu/ylow

Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (440)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway

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(248): I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway http://tfl.nu/pu3c

Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (186)

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