Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin

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  (330): Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin http://tfl.nu/9p6z
  Replies (1) Good night (2179) Bad night (597)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.

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  (336): i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets. http://tfl.nu/gfq6
  Replies (53) Good night (3887) Bad night (911)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.

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  (651): you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career. http://tfl.nu/bzxx
  Replies (15) Good night (952) Bad night (3539)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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  (865): Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/7i54
  Replies (18) Good night (11375) Bad night (1094)
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  (408): View more from California

  I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.

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  (408): I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included. http://tfl.nu/7ela
  Replies (1) Good night (3226) Bad night (1358)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.

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  (904): Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental. http://tfl.nu/zhtp
  Replies (4) Good night (2404) Bad night (750)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think

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  (847): If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think http://tfl.nu/90ww
  Replies (8) Good night (2475) Bad night (714)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.

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  (309): We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/cot7
  Replies (26) Good night (6147) Bad night (1154)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'

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  (610): I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili' http://tfl.nu/81vy
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (1522)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.

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  (706): Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size. http://tfl.nu/vhd5
  Replies (8) Good night (585) Bad night (2094)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.

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  (813): Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over. http://tfl.nu/p98p
  Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (450)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

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  (410): I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like' http://tfl.nu/uuvy
  Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (579)
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  (562): View more from California

  I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.

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  (562): I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk. http://tfl.nu/qs07
  Replies (0) Good night (662) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.

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  (310): I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed. http://tfl.nu/5cad
  Replies (4) Good night (1415) Bad night (365)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.

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  (678): If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed. http://tfl.nu/28dl
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (275)

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