I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.