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• (417): View more from Missouri

  He has such a weird drunk-voice.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  dude, he's deaf.

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

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• (239): View more from Florida

  COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING

  (646): View more from New York

  (239): View more from Florida

  Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.

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