chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i will never coherently bang her
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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