my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
