how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
