nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im six kinds of drunk right now
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
