That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
