i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
