Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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