thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
