Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize