So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
