I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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