Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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