If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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