using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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