ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
