Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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