I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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