so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
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Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Less talking, more tequila
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
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Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize