Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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