i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize