if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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