its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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