I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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