he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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