I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
