Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
