What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
