There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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