Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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