I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
