24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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