their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
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Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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