i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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