ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
