Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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