i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
