anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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