"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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