Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
