My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
