theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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